Roots and Wings

I’m a good man.  I’m an excellent partner.  But is there such thing as “too good” of something?  Apparently, there is definitely such thing as “too much”. I Love too much.  I care too much.  I feel too much.

Love is an important thing to me – the most important of all emotions.  I feel it strongly and provide it even stronger.

But I also feel hurt, sadness and my own insecurities strongly.  I take responsibility for sharing this with you and understand that this was way too much for you.  But I thought it was safe to share this with someone who was supposed to be my partner.  When it came to the so-called “negative” emotions – it was too much, it was too overwhelming.

Unfortunately, life isn’t only filled with joy, happiness and Love.  I will be sacred too.  I will be sad.  In good times and in bad – you couldn’t be there for me.

You fooled me and I was played for a fool.  You played the role of a character you thought I was looking for.  You played the lead role of a kind, caring Lover and partner.  Your character was someone who can express their feelings.  Your lines said you appreciated someone who had strong feelings and could express them.

During this act, you spoke of being partners – life partners.  You recited that you wouldn’t hurt me.  Your character said, on a number of occasions, that you wouldn’t break my heart.  You said you would Love me forever.  Your lines saying you’ve never felt this before.  Your lines said you’ve never been so happy.

You played this role very well.  It felt real and you told me it was real.

But somehow that changed – literally overnight.  Like you turned the page of your hurtful script.

The woman I fell in Love with doesn’t exist.  She was just a role you were playing in some ‘Roots and Wings’ Love affair turned tragedy.

But I’m glad this has happened early in our “relationship” instead of finding this out months or years down the line.

I like who I am – and I like what I offer my partner even more.  I know how to Love, how to care for, how to respect and treat my partner.  I like giving.  I like providing.  I like sharing.  I Love being in Love.

Your final line in this chapter was “I don’t know what I want”.  I may not be able to offer you what you want.  But I can say, without any doubt or hesitation, that you will probably never find what I was able to give you.  Beautiful, pure, true unconditional Love.

I write this as a start to my therapy – to begin to heal my own Spirit.  I know I won’t be jaded. I’m okay. Everything is going to be alright. 

Some wise person once told me, that any Love, no matter it’s result, isn’t wrong.  I believe.  I have Faith.  I know that Love will come again.

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