I know everytime I write something from my heart, it starts out with the inevitiable “it’s been very b*sy. Today, I’m censoring myself and won’t be talking about w*rk or how b*sy I am.
I’ve come to the realization that my life is about the dreaded ‘W’ word. No, that’s not ‘welfare’. (If that’s what you thought the “W’ word was – you must be a redskin.) And no it’s not ‘women’. (If that’s what you thought – I’m offended. *wink*). .. No, my life for the past few years has been about ‘w*rk’. I’m w*rking far to long and hard. Sometimes going without adequate rest, good food, sometimes no food whatsoever. On a recent drive from Curve Lake I was given a straightening out!!
Why do I do that? I don’t consider myself a workaholic – although that’s really what I am. I’ve given up much in life to do what I’m doing and I am grateful and would never second guess my professional decisions. I have absolutely no regrets.
April asked that I consider family. I replied that “I am doing all this w*rk for my family, for my community and for the Spirit.”
It was then that it hit me. That was my excuse for being a workaholic.
The work we do for our families and for the Spirit should not take away from our immediate needs and the immediate needs of our Loved ones. Being Ogitchidaa means I put their lives first – and I haven’t been doing that.
As a result, my health has suffered and I’ve seen my family less now than ever. I sleep in more hotels, travel through more airports, eat more take out, put in 12 hour days. Until Monday, I hadn’t had a real home cooked meal in three weeks. (Miigwetch Momma). Following that great meal I went a full 24 hours without any food before I was forced to grab a bag of Frito Lays and a real Coca-Cola. On that same day, I was in the office for a full 11 hours.
I had to ask myself “what am I doing?”.
I’m going to be taking some time for myself, and spending more time with my partner and my children. That doesn’t mean I’ll be w*rking any less, it means I will better manage my responsibilites both professional and personal, take better care of my health, eat better, rest more often. In that way, I will be more able to fufill my roles as provider and Ogitchidaa for family, my community and my Nation.
I Love you all.